2010

It's 2010. Not even the first day of the year. I still don't feel any change. I suppose those things start to fade away as you get older.

I was telling my roommates my boy experiences back in high school, and one of them mentioned that she would like to see me actually pursue a guy. I haven't done that in a long time. Why is it that I can't like anyone? After Shoulders, my emotions have dried up. I think I poured out everything I had and a bit more, enough to last about 5 years, in a span of 2 years for him and now everything is empty and dry. Is that even possible? Now I've got a giant wall built around myself that I can't even tear down myself. It would be nice to like someone, I think. A crush. Crushing is always fun, but all sorts of emotional lows come around when it develops into something more than that.

I'm scared that this might last until it becomes physically impossible for me to attract anyone.